btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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