a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
