Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
