Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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