I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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