please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
im holly from the hills drunk
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
