I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
