He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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