I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
