Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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