i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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