At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
