My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
