i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
