tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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