I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
