Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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