Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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