smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
someone owes me an orgasm
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
