ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
