I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
