you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Ladies don't puke and tell
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
