I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
