dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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