You're my little dorito
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
