so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize