oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
