her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
