You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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