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It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
