it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
