i permit you to call me
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
