God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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