Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
