You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
