some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
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I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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