Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
