OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
