That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
