So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
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Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
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Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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