how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
