I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
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