Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
did i just pee glitter
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