I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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