This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
