um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
