My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
