I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize