Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
