I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
stop calling my apartment porn island.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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