i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
