she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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