Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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