Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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