i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
