I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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