very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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