I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
