how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
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Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize