walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Life is so much better after having sex.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
