I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
