The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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