everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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