Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
