Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
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So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.