nut hugger
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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