Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.