i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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