Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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