Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
