Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
