just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
