Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
