I'm going to rape someone's good day.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
