Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
