I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
