Got a toothbrush?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
