woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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