I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize