I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
