I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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